Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
