u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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