i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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