toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
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