There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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