very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
