I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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