if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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