six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
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If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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