Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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