You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
