That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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