Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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