Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
