Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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