he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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