He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
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Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
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I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.