There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
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Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
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I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.