Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
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He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
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I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.