He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
