so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
