Yo dont text me then not text me
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
