dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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