i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
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