he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
