but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
