Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife

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(501): View more from Arkansas

fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers

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(734): View more from Michigan

I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.

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(917): View more from New York City

He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?

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(540): View more from Virginia

THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.

(1-540): View more from Virginia

I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.

(540): View more from Virginia

YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.

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(813): View more from Florida

You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.

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