i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
