I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize