you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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