it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize