So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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