At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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