She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize