HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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