Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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