I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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