That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
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who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
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Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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