Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
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I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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