rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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