we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
