her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
