Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
look no pants
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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