A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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