Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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