I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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