that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
