I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
