he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
