I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
