Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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