But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
