We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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