i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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