I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
