Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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